Lost On Me

Where are you? Where the hell are you? Do you hear me? Do you see me? Would I ever be able to put my shield down? Would peace ever come to me? Would I ever be deserving of your rescue, rescue from the torture of present? Am I still not enough? Would I ever be enough to be sheltered by your love without compromise?

I am not asking for happiness, I am asking is for stableness, is that too demanding? Am I misunderstanding how it works? Would you teach me? I am willing to learn but I just need a little rest. Would you put be in place if I am wondering too much? Even the silent roar scares me, even the inexistent people bring fear. I will carry myself out of this chaos, just assure me there is an end. I will still burn love in me, just assure me this in not the end. There is so much around me but all are empty, ghosted. They are all untouchable for the wrong reasons. So many are suffering without reasons.

I am here and not going anywhere because I cannot. I cannot go anywhere because I am here. Blockade everywhere, destroyer everywhere, safety nowhere. Did I not lose enough? Is there more to take away from me? Did you not show me enough? Is there more to see? Did my sincerity not reach you? Is there more you want from me?

It’s stuffy here, it’s unbreathable here, it’s scary here. Did I fall into the wrong star? Was I mistakenly put here? Why is everything disagreeable? There is anger everywhere, there is pain everywhere, love nowhere. When will hope rise to lead us out of this unrest? My faith is still very strong, are you still in action?

I hope everyone who is in pain, sorrow, and anger need a moment to breathe in hope by releasing one’s pain, sadness, and anger, will not despair. One can never estimate another’s pain wholly, but those with humility know how unbearable injustice is, how scared the unknown can be, how much disgrace nonsense can bring. Despite how lost we are and despite strong feelings of grudge we hold, I hope our faith in goodness can wipe our tears and caress our broken hearts and keep us humble as we are only dust in this universe but an important one.