On My Own
All your pain, you gave it to me. All the anger, you bursted on me. Do you even remember? All the drama you unleashed on me. Are you not even embarrassed? Your emotional waste and pure greed was harrowing to face. I healed on my own. I swallowed the pain and teared up all your none sense. I have no regret, it is all yours, not mine. I have no sympathy for your failed humanity and that will drive you crazy. If you showed smallest gesture of apology or put on any effort to look beyond your own world, you would still have me around. I would have tried to mend the misfortunate events. If you had your heart open, you would have seen me disapprove your tantrum for the right reason.
There is no doubt it pains both of us today, but what can you do? The fight to be apart from you took many battles and self doubt. I may have to ask for forgiveness for cutting you out, but not to you, and not with you in my life. I will handle my trials on my own. I was scared of being on my own when no souls dared to come along with me in this fight. Sometimes, the ways you enforced your distorted ways unto others was painfully maddening and heartbreaking to watch. It was obvious they were scared and I sadly understood that. It was obvious they wanted to end and I courageously planned out the escape. They needed and they wanted, but they had no aim. It was easier for them to record their tragedies on me and leave at that and hope for a miracle. And that was chapter two of my pain.
At times, I could not tell apart from friends and foe. It’s an unpleasant reminder, you are indeed on your own. There is a little self compliment when you tell yourself no one prays like you do, so better on my own. All one can do is get stronger, wiser, be open to life, and have confidence to smile at your own scars and sorrow. No one will be your handkerchief, no one will be your umbrella, and no one will be your shield when you need them the most. Until lost, you don’t know what you had. Until you leave, they won’t know your worth. Until all becomes aware, it doesn’t end. It’s your own batter no matter what.