Render

I decided to surrender myself to who ever has me, those who became part of my life, those who I became part of their life, intertwined by fate, like it or not. I Surrender because of their weaknesses not because of my weakness. There must be a reason why I see what they do not see even though it's about them and not me. I see their fear, I see their no way out on their own while I endeavour to dismantle my fear and find my way out of whatever I detest. There must be a good scenario at the end to why my force has weakened against the helpless. I surrender because I don’t want to hurt them with the truth nor see them mishandling the truth. I surrender because time is not mine, I can’t wait forever. I surrender because I embrace my understanding and I cannot not understand what I do know. I surrender because it is unfair anyways until grace comes to you in all fairness. I take it as a losing game now but hope to gain strength overcoming obstacles. I take it as it comes and least retaliate because I don’t know the ending. I surrender my selfishness and personal desires because it agonizes me quite bit to obtain them, strangely. I surrender because I see what I see and somewhat make sense of my mental experiences and materialistic encounters. It’s good to have and conquer but it seems better to know how to live with least and have less to be responsible of. Realizing is painful, surrendering requires courage and understanding needs endless patience. Surrendering is my choice, it is deep and real. You can’t go half way because it will drive you insane. While I surrender to the weak for they don’t know how to surrender, I surrender my despair to the stronger, to bigger love, to bigger embrace, and total truth that finds me.